My mom made a comment recently concerning chemo. She used the phrase “Poisoned to Life.” I found that interesting.
I suppose the general purpose of any poison is to kill a target of some kind. Such is chemotherapy. It sure is about to kill me this time around. Woof.
I had all the terrible deep effects set in around 1am Tuesday morning. Mind you, I wasn’t feeling good before then, but there are general symptoms from chemo and then there are the chemo storms that set in. Weakness that is hard to describe, headaches, pain shooting around the body, unable to sleep, so tired I want to sleep, trembling on the inside, realizing I’m hungry and thirsty yet not feeling like getting up to get a drink of water, sores in the mouth, and maybe a few other side effects I won’t mention. I sat in my recliner and rode it out. What other choice did I have? Well, the ER did cross my mind
I felt a bit better during the day, but not good. Slept some, rested, and basically “hung on.” About 7pm yesterday evening give or take, the inevitable happened:
Those who have been in my shoes know those two words can strike fear in the hearts of the mightiest fighter. It took me a while to figure out what was causing the pain. As the pain spread through my lower back, I was trying to suppress thoughts like “is this the cancer spreading?”
The mind is able to naturally ponder some seriously bad stuff.
The pain moved to the front of the chest and then included the back. It came in waves, pulsing. It was when it was going through my chest bone that I finally had this “aha!” moment to realize that ultimately, it was ok. It was going to be ok. It was bone pain.
Neulasta is an injection to stimulate white bone cell growth. I got my shot last Thursday.
On one hand, I’m receiving poison to kill white blood cells, on the other hand, my bone marrow is being forced to work overtime to produce extra white blood cells.
Lymph cells are the problem. They are a specific kind of white blood cell. White blood cell is like saying “military,” lymph cell is like saying “The Marines.” We have various white blood cells (our general military) and the lymph cells are growing at an exceptional rate. Cancer. Lymphoma.
To poison me back to life, a chemical weapon is being dispersed that takes out a huge segment of my entire white blood cell count. Just nuke ’em all.
Neulasta, then goes back and says “hey, we need more of the Army branch, just army only.” Neutrophils are like this special branch of the military that can make a big difference in reducing the amount of infections a chemo patient suffers. Neulasta makes the body produce Neutrophils at an abnormally high rate.
Poison all fast growing white blood cells, target some specific ones to grow back fast, take Zofran for nausea, eat some of cousin Julie’s good homemade pear preserves this morning, and keep the hydrocodone close.
A cute baby can make anything better. Meet Logan. Isn’t he adorable?
Now back to regular programming from my recliner…