Maybe this blog can help simplify communication. This is a change for me. I was diagnosed with Burkitt’s Lymphoma this summer. I’m going through chemo. I have released a few Facebook updates, email messages, a few videos, and feel a need to attempt to simplify for many the manner in which I communicate.
Can we agree that change is a constant?
I was so tired, but a good tired, when I laid down to sleep around 10pm. Change. It is now 2:55am and I’ve been awake feeling sick for over an hour. I feel achy, feverish, suddenly weak, pain going through my body, mouth sores bothering me, and uncertain of my future. This is a change from how I went to sleep. Took some Tylenol, hydrocodone, something for anxiety, checked my temperature twice (98.7), got comfortable in my recliner. I now realize that the effects of the first round of chemo administered to me has kicked in and is taking deep effect. I don’t like this part.
The rest of the house is asleep, as they should be. I don’t want to bother them. I know if I need something, I can ask. For those who have been in my shoes, you understand the tug between needing/wanting help and not really wanting to bother others any more than absolutely necessary.
I have many fears and thoughts at this moment going through my mind. It isn’t a panic situation as much as (I suspect) a steady drumbeat of age old thoughts that go through the mind of any rational chemo patient. I might share these some day, but I need to get my family and loved ones used to the idea of my sharing rambling thoughts on here and not reading too much into them.
I’ve quit fighting change. It is a constant. Roll with the punches.
Maybe this blog will help the Vlog will help the FB will help the email will help the family will help me to simplify things a bit. Maybe this change will help me to make it through this journey a little more connected with others.
My first journey through Burkitt’s Lymphoma was in 2008. I was stage IVb when I began my chemo. I spent the better part of 8 months in a hospital. I had HYPER CVAD +R chemo and it was intense. I was a sick man. My method of communication then was only email or phone calls. I had no Facebook account and wasn’t social media savvy. Today is another day.
I am on DA EPOCH +R protocol. I am stage 2 this time, not as sick entering the battle. I am entering my second battle with Burkitt’s after 6 years of remission. This is indeed a rare event. Not unheard of, but rare indeed.
If I am able to enter remission, then I will most likely be a candidate for a stem cell transplant.
I’ve learned people need people. Life isn’t fair. Encouragement and hope are vital. Many are looking to heal their own battle scars and losses by walking through this together.
I offer myself to help. I ask you to help me. By walking through this together, we can all grow stronger