an evening can change in a moments notice

 

 

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Luke Laufenberg, who is the son of a former Dallas Cowboys Quarterback (now a broadcaster)

I was watching the evening news tonight. I was busy cooking in the kitchen and my attention changed suddenly from my cooking to the TV during the sports section of the newscast. My eyes went wet. The terrible feeling of that muscular clutching at the throat, that sick feeling every man feels when he doesn’t want to become emotional. 

 
They brought up that they had an update on Luke Laufenberg, son of a former quarterback for the Cowboys. I had been watching his progress with Burkitt’s Lymphoma/Leukemia. One place says Leukemia, one says Lymphoma. I suppose it is all the same, it is just trying to specify where the cancer seemed to concentrate and unleash its hell.
 
Luke beat Burkitt’s in 2018 and went to University of El Paso (UTEP) to follow in his dad’s footsteps. I was proud of him getting back on the field so quickly in January of 2019.
The sports broadcasters in this area know his dad and got to know Luke. They all visited him in his room during his battle. Some interviewed him to discuss his cancer battle and future hope.
 
They all commented what a bright fighting spirit he had and how he deeply touched them.
 
The current update is that Luke relapsed a short while ago and died last night. They commented he went down really fast. Yep. The cancer that I had twice is the same cancer Luke had twice. It is the worlds fastest cancer, doubling in size as quickly as every 24 hours.
Jason Garrett choked up as he spoke about Luke and the loss; the sports casters were trying to hold it together with their voices cracking. I stood there in my kitchen, while salmon croquette patties were cooking, and let the tears roll down my face.
 
Bastard disease. I hate it more than I can put into responsible words.
 
Posted in burkitts, cancer, chemotherapy, Cowboys, Dallas, death, Fathers, Football, Grief, hodgkins, leukemia, life, lymphoma, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Freedom of Speech works both ways

Read this article. The NFL has lost my last ounce of support.

NFL takes a stance against Veterans

Posted in blind, Football, NFL, rejects, Sport, Uncategorized, veterans | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

I wish that cancer was just a word or a scary story….

One never knows who we’ll meet traveling through life. I want to highlight someone I am privileged to know for the most wrong reason imaginable.

I met Adam Tolley due to what must be the most horrific thing one could face: cancer. I have the utmost respect for this young man. He is riding in a well established bicycle ride fundraiser (www.pelotonia.org) to raise funds to help fight cancer. He is doing so in remembrance of his younger brother, Andrew.

Adam also chooses to focus on a few others affected by cancer and has been kind enough to include me over the past few years. I am honored beyond words.

In preparation for the grueling bike ride this year, he decided to mark up his legs with some names. Read each carefully folks, this is not child’s play.

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I am a member of the Burkitt’s Lymphoma Society. Adam joined the group after his younger brother Andrew was diagnosed with Burkitt’s. Not only did Adam join, but his mom, Andrew’s sister, and also Andrew joined. Not often our group has seen young teenagers join our group, much less the whole family.

Andrew Tolley was a bundle of life, known for his humor, smile, and quick wit. We all wept when Andrew passed exactly one year from the day of his diagnosis at the age of 15. I just cannot fathom such pain. As of this writing today, Andrew would be 20 years old.

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Andrew’s mom shares he was so sick with chemotherapy and Burkitt’s Lymphoma when this photo was taken. It is her all time favorite pic. Andrew let nothing slow him down and his radiant personality shines forth clearly right in the midst of fighting for his life. I absolutely love that this picture proves that cancer CANNOT stop the zest for life we all carry deep in our souls.

Andrew wrote something in the privacy of the Burkitt’s group. I was floored when I read it then. I am still shaken deeply when I read it now. Andrew was really fighting at this point. I marvel at the wisdom and insight from a brilliant 15 year old teenager as he battled this absolutely shitty cancer.

Shared with permission

Everyday I wake up and try to put a smile on my face but it’s so hard to look towards the future positively. I know that is not how I should be thinking right know but sometimes in those hard times when I’m at my lowest point that’s the only way I can think. I do however try not to look negatively toward the future for fear that’s what will happen so I try to look positively toward the future even in the hardest time. It’s so hard just to sit and listen to your family say that they wish that there was something they could do but at times all they can do is sit and watch. If someone in my family told me there was a way that they could take my spot I would tell them no. The main reason why I would tell them no is because I don’t think I could handle watching someone else in my family go through what I have to go through. It is hard enough for me to go through it and I don’t want anyone else in my family to go through what I have to go through. I don’t know if that’s selfish but that’s how I feel. In a way I’m glad that all this is happening to me and not someone that isn’t as strong as I am. It’s not fair how the world works I wish that cancer was just a word or a scary story that people told at camp to scare the campers.

(bolding and italics mine for emphasis)

Truth be told, I cry every time I read this. I have copied this paragraph to my phone. I did so when Andrew first wrote this. I was blown away at the selflessness and maturity of such a young soul fighting for his life.

It is NOT fair how the world works people, it is not.

Adam, Andrew’s older brother, has had his share of grief and personal demons from losing his younger brother. I have watched and communicated a touch with him, encouraging him to keep trying. Adam is channeling his grief and focusing his life on certain things, things that are helping him to make it to the next day.

You see, I don’t believe success is success because we ride a bike to raise funds, as admirable as this is. Adam, just like his mom and sister, are successful because they chose to face another day carrying a hole in their hearts they should not have to carry. They get up and face a world that is not fair and choose to honor Andrew with their lives in their own ways.

Adam is countering his pain with an intense bike ride that gives 100% of every dollar raised to help fight cancer.

Check out this 30 second video (click this highlighted sentence) that Huntington Bank made for Adam as he rode in last year’s Pelotonia fundraiser.

I wish that cancer was just a word or a scary story that people told at camp to scare the campers.

Would you say a prayer for the Tolley family?

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If you have an extra $5 bill laying around for a burger, would you consider donating to Adam for this ride?

Adam’s Pelotonia Bike Ride Information (might be very slow to load)

Posted in burkitts, cancer, courage, family, fundraiser, generosity, Grief, hope, humanity, life, lymphoma, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments

Can You Help?

I want to say something here. I try to be careful about fundraising on Facebook or my blog. Truth be told, I could weekly post deserving families who are in dire financial needs. Oh my gosh, the suffering that is brought on just by Burkitt’s Lymphoma alone is staggering.

Colin has been sick since 2014, his battle began with Burkitt’s Lymphoma. It has continued now and morphed into one major battle after another.

One thing that has struck me is the continuing desire of Colin’s mom to steadily communicate with so many people, sharing insightful details of his battle. If you want to take hours reading well written insight into acute and chronic suffering of a family, check out Colin’s Facebook page. I double dirty dog challenge you to go onto his FB page and start reading first from back in 2014 when it all began. There are many ups and downs, all written with delicate insight, and a few special surprises along the way.

All families are deserving of help. I do not post such pleas as this one lightly. If you are a giving kind of person whatsoever, even just $5, you would be shocked at how that little bit makes a difference.

Wonder how I know such to be true? Because of all you did for me when I was sick in 2014. The help and love given to me was outstanding and overwhelming.

Please consider doing the same for this family. It is the small, private things we do that I believe God will look upon with favor, those simple things that help another. You can trust me when I say that quiet help our family received during my second battle (and my first!!) with Burkitt’s was so helpful and put me into tears so many times.

Let’s hope you never ever need the same kind of help.

Thank you.

 

Posted in burkitts, cancer, chemotherapy, family, finances, fundraiser, generosity, Grief, hope, humanity, lymphoma, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Zoe Meme #121: Puppuccino

Well folks, this particular Zoe Meme explains itself. Isn’t she rotten and adorable? The poodle is too (smirks). That would be Zoe and her human, my youngest daughter.

I’m going to take a step back from Zoe Memes for a bit. This is the last one for now. These will eventually start back up when the mood hits. I have some projects I want to accomplish and need to make time for them.

In the meantime, remember your hope is in Christ alone. The greatest commandment should be our greatest pursuit in life. IMG_2403

Posted in dog, family, happy, hope, humor, joy, life, love, Meme, poodle, toy, Uncategorized, Zoe | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Very funny Chili Humor

This is a really humorous short story about a man who got to judge a chili contest by accident. 

Very funny. 

Click this to read!

Posted in beer, happy, humor, joy, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Zoe Meme #120: Pounce

Oh my gosh, my grandogter’s human (aka my youngest daughter), what can I say? She treats this dog so bad sometimes. I mean, look at that face! The poor dog is obviously starving, exhausted from being so cute, and desperate for a french fry!

So the poodle strategy begins in her quick tiny noodle brain. She sets up the strategy of attack by acting like she is disinterested.

Her unnoticed muscles tense for the pounce. Her normally round black eyes narrow to small focused slits.

This picture is deceptive. Or is it? I think she is ready to pounce on those fries. My daughter said she was exhausted and lazy.

My grandogter Zoe is all of 4.7 lbs when wet and unshaven. Her appetite though, is the size of a Labrador’s stomach. Actually, having owned labradors, I can tell you this dog would fit nicely into the size of a Labrador’s stomach.

Poor thing.

In the mean time, she sits and stares at the fries, those crispy salty delicious human fries. Those things are not going to eat themselves.

She will pounce given the first chance she gets. If not, just throw some cheese (<–look back at the first Zoe Memes and her obsession with cheese) on it and she will go for it!

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Posted in addiction, beg, food, humor, joy, life, love, Meme, poodle, toy, Uncategorized, Zoe | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment